Jewish Boy Problems

Looking for writers

Happy belated Hanukkah! Hope you all got the BMWs and iPads you hoped for.

I’m seeking writers for Found at Bubbe’s. If you have ever found something cool or odd at your grandparents’ home, I’m sure you wanted to tell someone about it. Why not tell your story to captive audience of your Jewish peers? Entries are very short (200-300 words) and typically include a photo.

Considering many of you are in Boca/Del Ray/WPB, etc., this shouldn’t be too much of an issue. Even if you don’t think you’re an amazing writer, there are many who would love to read about some interesting artifacts.

Email me at foundatbubbes@gmail.com for more information.

Thanks!

JBP

About Me

I have brown eyes and hair. My legs are uncomfortably hairy. My dream is to crack 5’8. I think my Dad works in finance and my Mom loves to spend his money.

The biggest culture shock of my life was leaving the tri-state area and attending college in Upstate New York.

I have two grandmothers—Grandma Estelle and Bubbe. My grandfathers, Sol and Marv, passed away when I was still a child. Bubbe lives in Broken Sound in Boca Raton. Grandma Estelle lives in a Jewish assisted living home near my parents’ house in Northern New Jersey. Both of my grandmothers keep strictly Kosher and make outdated remarks about my Mom handing off her “domestic duties” to our “Shiksa baleboste,” Consuela.

My parents were devastated when they found out I didn’t want to pursue law, medicine, or finance in college. My motivation and internships have made my parents more comfortable with my decision. Now that my parents aren’t worried about my career, they want to get me a personal trainer so I can attract more girls. To quote my Mom, “You’re cute, but you wouldn’t be able to fight off a mugger.” Thanks, Mom.

My 23-year-old JAPpy older sister works in fashion PR in NYC and still has my parents paying her bills. My Dad hopes she finds a rich boyfriend so he can stop supporting her. Surprisingly, she’s most spiritual person in my family. Oh wait, “Kabbalah” is “in” among her Murray Hill friends.

My Mom hasn’t had a career since she married my father. However, once she became an empty nester, she got really involved with a non-profit foundation that her friends’ husbands all fund. She’s also really into playing tennis at the JCC and pretending she’s an interior decorator. Recently, she told my father that our kitchen was “too 90’s” and brought home tile and cabinet samples in the back of her Acura MDX.

I don’t know what my father does. Definitely something with Wall Street, I think. He traveled a lot for work, but at least he always brought home nice presents for my sister and I. Fifteen years ago, he received a huge promotion and we moved into a brand new home in the nicest part of town. Despite his success, he’s surprisingly the most grounded person in my entire family. He gives me lots of advice and wisdom, though it’s usually related to finance.

Consuela is our housekeeper. She’s been in our family since my sister was six-months-old and it’s hard to dismiss someone who has helped raise your family. I’m pretty sure Consuela is going to live in our finished basement (among the Bar/Bat Mitzvah decorations) until my parents decide to move to Boca.